A practical, heartfelt guide to the art of truly knowing another person in order to foster deeper connections at home, at work, and throughout our lives—from the author of The Road to Character and The Second Mountain
As David Brooks observes, “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.”
And yet we humans don’t do this well. All around us are people who feel invisible, unseen, misunderstood. In How to Know a Person, Brooks sets out to help us do better, posing questions that are essential for all of us: If you want to know a person, what kind of attention should you cast on them? What kind of conversations should you have? What parts of a person’s story should you pay attention to?
In a world that often feels isolating and impersonal, David Brooks’ “How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen” strikes a chord with a core human desire: connection. A New York Times bestseller with a stellar reputation (over 1,800 positive ratings on Kindle and Goodreads), Brooks delves into the art of fostering meaningful relationships.
The book hinges on a powerful idea: the ability to truly see and understand others is the bedrock of healthy interactions. Brooks acknowledges a common experience – feeling invisible or misunderstood. But rather than dwell on the problem, he offers solutions. He guides readers through a series of essential questions that can transform the way we approach our interactions:
- How to cultivate focused attention: In our fast-paced world, giving someone our undivided attention can be a rare gift. Brooks equips readers with techniques to be genuinely present with others, a vital first step to forging deeper connections.
- The art of conversation: “How to Know a Person” goes beyond superficial small talk. Brooks explores the types of conversations that spark genuine connection, allowing us to see beneath the surface and understand another person’s unique perspective.
- The stories that shape us: Our experiences shape who we are. Brooks encourages readers to pay close attention to the stories people share, providing valuable insights into their values, motivations, and the things that make them tick.
“How to Know a Person” is more than a self-help book; it’s a roadmap to building stronger relationships at home, work, and in our communities. By following Brooks’ insights and approaching others with curiosity and empathy, we can cultivate a richer, more meaningful life, filled with genuine connections.
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